Meet Your Matchmaker, Sophie Kaemmerlé
Meet Sophie Kaemmerlé
I grew up immersed in French culture—a culture so often associated with romantic love that’s simple and pure. Throughout my youth, I thought the love I saw in the movies was real, but entering the dating pool (first in college in the South, then back in New York) added complexities to that vision and dream. I learned the hard way that love actually wasn’t that simple, and often required real intention, deep work, and strategy.
Being a woman of color in the dating world adds a dimension that doesn't get talked about openly enough. Sometimes it’s as dramatic as being told you’re undesirable because of your race. Sometimes, it's the slow accumulation of feeling like you're being seen through a filter, someone exoticizing you and fetishizing you and passing it as attraction. And in many cases, it’s the hard truth that despite the connection you’ve built with another person, you don't fit neatly into what someone pictured for themselves. It took me a long time to understand how much it was shaping what I thought I could expect from love. For many clients I work with — especially women of color — there's a specific kind of damage that years of not feeling fully seen because of race can do. It changes what you think you deserve. It makes you smaller in rooms where you should feel free. It leads you toward people who are familiar rather than people who are actually right. And untangling that is real work.
New York made all of it sharper. The city moves fast, everyone is busy and impressive, and there's a particular kind of loneliness that comes from being surrounded by so many people and still not feeling found. The apps certainly didn’t help.
My whole life, I was interested in the mechanics of love and compatibility, the ingredients that make a great relationship, psychology and social sciences, and how romance and race intersect. I took those passions, and created Toi & Moi Matchmaking—a matchmaking and dating coaching service that empowers minorities to date as their full and authentic selves.
My work reflects that. Clients don't just leave with better dates; they leave with a clearer understanding of themselves, what they actually need, and the confidence to recognize it when it's in front of them.
“I’m a successful New York woman who figured out how to date intentionally in this broken market. Now I help women like me do the same.”
Connecting Conscious Hearts
The Toi & Moi Difference
True compatibility goes deeper than shared interests or a matching lifestyle. The people we work with have built something real — in their careers, their relationships, their sense of who they are — and they're looking for a partner who brings that same depth and intentionality to a relationship. Someone who is not just compatible on paper, but genuinely aligned where it counts.
We only work with six clients at a time. Not as a marketing device, but because this work demands it. Understanding someone well enough to find their equal takes time, attention, and genuine care — none of which can be rushed.
What you can expect working with us:
Full discretion. Your privacy is non-negotiable. Everything shared with us stays with us — your profile, your history, your journey. We handle every detail with the confidentiality you'd expect from a trusted advisor.
Introductions that actually make sense. We don't send you matches to hit a quota. Every introduction is hand-selected based on a deep understanding of who you are, what you value, and what you actually need in a partner — not just what you think you want.
A process built around you. There is no template here. Your experience with Toi & Moi is shaped entirely around your personality, your challenges, and your goals. We adapt as we learn more about you.
Respect for your time. You're busy. We handle the logistics, the vetting, the coordination — so your only job is to show up and be present.
Support at every step. From your first conversation with us to post-date feedback and beyond, we're with you. Not just as a service, but as a genuine partner in the process.
Our Commitment to Your Journey
We're dedicated to helping you find a partner who doesn't just fit into your life, but makes it fuller, richer, and more meaningful. If you've built something you're proud of and you're ready to be as intentional about love as you are about everything else, Toi & Moi is ready to help you find your equal.
Join us, and let us help you find the extraordinary connection you deserve.
Contact us
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